Ok, first, some running related injury occurs. Once this happens, my brain goes through three different phases: denial, frustration/angry, and recovery.
From Wednesday of last week through last Saturday morning I was in major denial that my suffering was anything more than just some soreness. I hoped against hope that it would just loosen up, and I would be able to run. Being hard headed at least according to my mom probably makes my denial phase worse for me than it is for the average person. I don’t want to admit even to myself that I am wrong.
Next comes frustration/angry. This occurs once I was overwhelmed with enough evidence that my soreness was really something major. Standing alongside the road at 15 miles was more than enough evidence for me. The frustration of working so hard and wanting something so much is more than enough to make me angry with myself for putting myself in this situation. These are the times when I really question if running is truly worth it. Deep down inside I know the answer is still yes, but on the surface I just want to walk way. I want to put all of these injuries behind me and do something else. Punctuating this in my brain was the resonating pain coming from hamstring and rear as I set in my car for the four and half hour drive back to Charlotte on Saturday.
My little 2 mile run on Sunday may have been one of the slowest and most painful run that I have ever experienced. If there has ever been a moment when I considered just stopping, this day was it. Yet, I didn’t. I begin to think about what I need to do in my recovery. The time of frustration and anger had passed. The time for recovery had come.
Tuesday, I started treatments on my hamstring. I suspect they will last for the next few months. I have put my racing on the back burner for now. I want this hamstring well before I go back to running a lot miles and stronger before I go back to doing intervals and racing.
For now, running hurts. Sitting hurts.
But it will get better. I know it.
The Cool Down Runner